At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
