Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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