Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
