Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize