I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
