the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
