I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
