im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
