I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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