I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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