these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Hello my rib-scented angel!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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