So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
