Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
