I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
