Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
