If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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