sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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