yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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