I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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