i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize