He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Please don't give away my fajitas
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize