Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
The air taste purple.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
