I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Randomize
