Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
