I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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