Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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