I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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