Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
there is glitter all over my balls
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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