i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
