Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
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The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
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Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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