are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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