the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
