All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
