what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
