if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
