The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Alive.
So much puke
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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