I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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