Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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