Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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