Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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