so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
