He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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