We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
