Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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