we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
