does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
