Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
