Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
