This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
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I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
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What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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