Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
