I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
