oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
