This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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