I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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