He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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