After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.