The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs