Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Randomize
