week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
