have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
