wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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