Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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