hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
