just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
