so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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