I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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