I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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